My Sacrifice
by MyTinyDancer
Summary: NOT SLASH! LE/JP SB/OC and maybe RL/someone. Marauder's 7th year and life after school. Sirius is in love. What happens when he has to choose between the love of his life and his best friends son?
1. Prologue

Prologue

"You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be."

- Chuck Palahniuk

Sirius Black stood in the remains of his little house, completely immobilised. It was not, for once, the effects of a magical spell that rendered him incapable to move. Rather, he was frozen; trapped in his own limbs by the enormity of the decision that lay before him. The decision that was going to change his life for the worse either way he chose. And he had to choose. He had to choose quickly before his choice was taken away from him.

Sirius' wide, alert eyes darted around the room, searching. It was difficult to see through the haze of smoke and the bright jets of light emitted by the duelling wands around him. Finally, he found what he had been searching for through the raging battle. _Her._ Only her hair and wide, frightened eyes were visible above behind which she was crouching. Sirius was, for a moment, completely consumed by guilt and a savage self-loathing. She was not meant to be here in the midst of this battle. It was his fault that she was here. Were it not for him, she would not have been in any danger at all.

All of her attention was focused on Sirius, even as the tall figure draped in black and wearing a mask loomed closer to her out of the shadows of the staircase. Sirius snapped out of his stupefied state and motioned frantically to her as he aimed his wand at the Death Eater closing in on her. She shook her head at Sirius, her eyes filled with misery although she had the small attempt at a smile plastered onto her face. Ever so slightly, she nodded.

The masked figure sniggered at the exchange that had taken place between them. He pointed his wand in her direction, still laughing.

The scream that unwillingly escaped her mouth as the Death Eater tortured her was full of helplessness. It was a scream that filled Sirius' entire body with a raging anger and broke his heart at the same time. Sirius leapt forward, his mind made up by her.


	2. Loneliness Kills

Chapter 1

"The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved."

- Mother Teresa

What kind of world do we live in? Is it a good world? I contemplated the answer to these questions as I wound my way through the little suburb in which I lived. It is said that when darkness reigns and righteousness collapses, God manifests in different forms to save creation- to remind us of the God that is in each one of us. I churned this thought around in my mind. The little sign board outside the church proclaiming that 'God is coming' left little doubt in my mind as to whether or not God would come. The question plaguing me was: what would God do when he came? Was this world really worth saving? I could not come up with an answer. The world was not a nice place. Fear hung in the air, as real and tangible as the light depressing fog. Sadness, loss, helplessness clung to every surface only barely covering up the harsh edges of resentment and anger. Yes, the world was not a nice place at all. Yet, I thought, looking over the drooping sea of flowers in my mother's garden where I had come to rest in the shade of the oak tree, it could be. This world could be great; it had been at one time. There was a time when each perfect shape had illustrated a subtle beauty. Each sound in itself had been musical. Energy had radiated off everything. The world had been a painting, each detail a tribute to the greatness of the artist. But now the images had been smudged with something dark and unattractive and the artist, disappointed with the destruction of his masterpiece, was not sure that he could repair this damage. I could imagine him pondering whether or not he should try.

The damage done by the wizarding world was not something that could easily be fixed. The wizarding world. The reason that the planet was in this pitiful state. The magical folk did not care much for this planet; at least not the magical folk that were responsible for the world's current situation- the 'Dark Side'. I remember how, when i was younger- before the wizarding world existed for me, I used to giggle at this term. Now, however, there was no other name that suited Voldemort, the most powerful evil wizard, And his band of followers; Death Eaters they called themselves. The vulgarity of their group name was only reflected in their actions. Just as the name suggests, they revelled in death. Particularly the death of 'blood traitors' and muggle-borns; people of my birth.

Sighing, I got up from my perch on the grass and stepped out from the shade of the great oak. I marched determinedly into the house; the house I now hated. I closed the door noisily behind me, not bothering to lock it, before trudging noisily into the kitchen to get a glass of water. I had been walking for quite some time, trying to escape the house, and the blistering heat of the summer was pressing down upon me. I noticed that I was out of breath and that my throat was all but screaming in thirst.

Our kitchen was small and rather cramped. My mother had never been one for cooking and baking so, until Petunia and I were old enough to do it, my dad did all of the cooking in the house. Ignoring the growing rush of memories and nostalgia, I walked to the cupboard, stood on the tips of my toes to reach for a glass, turned around with it in my hands and collided with a very hard stomach that was definitely not there before. The glass crashed to the floor with a loud shattering noise as my hand flew to my pocket in a feeble attempt to grab my wand.

"Lily, where have you been?" James Potter's voice was outraged and urgent as his large hands closed tightly around my wrists.

"P-Potter?" I blinked up at him. "What are you doing here?"

Ignoring my question, he asked, "Lily you haven't been walking around alone have you? It's really dangerous and- "

"Potter, what are you doing here?" I was getting irritated. What right did James Potter have to be in MY house questioning ME? We weren't even friends for the love of the Pope!

"I just came to visit. I – I, er, knew you were alone and I just wanted to check on you" Potter's voice started off sheepish and turned into a rush that I had to strain my ears to catch. I did not fail to notice that he skilfully avoided any mention of my parents in his hasty explanation. I was shocked. James Potter had just been tactful and thoughtful at the same time.

"Oh... Well that's nice of you, Potter, but I am fine thanks. I will see you at school."

A brief spell of disappointment clouded James' face but his voice was carefully cheerful as he responded, "Oh, okay. Enjoy the rest of your holiday then, Lils." He hesitated and then added, "Just owl if you need anything."

I watched as he turned around and made his way to the front door and felt a small bubble of despair form in my chest. I had been alone for most of the summer. My best friend was on holiday and my sister had moved out and was now refusing to speak to me. In a time when the loneliness was almost suffocating, wasn't any company good company?

My decision only half made up, I quickly followed Potter into the hall.

"James."

He turned around, an expression of shock touching his handsome features. I had never used his first name before, not once in the six years that I had known him.

"Lily?" he answered, voice careful.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?"


	3. It's Only Arrogance If You Are Wrong

2. It's Only Arrogance If You're Wrong

"When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story."

-Barney Stinson

_Sirius_

It was the summer of 1977 when my family finally pushed me to my limit. I ran away from home taking refuge in the comfort of my best friend's house. James Potter, like me, was born into a wealthy, respectable wizarding family. Though James' family, unlike mine, did not believe in the discrimination of witches and wizards based on their blood. Also unlike me, James was loved, doted on and adored by his parents while I was constantly criticized by my mother and almost completely ignored by my father. My parents were not very pleasant people and I had not had a very happy childhood.

It was late one evening that- after a particularly gruesome fight with my mother, a rare, biting comment from my father and a scornful side-remark from my mother's favourite niece (who I refuse to recognise as family) - I had turned up with all my belongings on James' doorstep. Mr and Mrs Potter had welcomed me with open arms and hearts. They took me in and loved me as such.

The summer passed in a blur of quiddich and pranks. I was the happiest I could ever remember being. It was in the third week of this magnificent summer that I met _her._

*

I was strolling slowly back to the Potter's house, kicking a stone as I went, after apparating to the end of the long winding road on which they lived. James was still at Lily's house. He had been worrying about her for the first three weeks of the holidays before he finally worked up the courage to go and visit her. We had apparated to just outside her house but James had wanted to go inside alone. To our surprise, she asked him to stay for dinner. Personally, I think that it is really unhealthy for her to be cooped up by herself in her parents' house after their deaths.

The story of Katherine and Charlie Evans was a tragic one. Katherine, Lily's mother, had been sick. Very sick. Charlie had had to watch her wilt away before his eyes. Three weeks after her death, after barely eating or drinking, Charlie Evans had died. The cause of his death was not certain but it was said that he died of a broken heart. He was lost after the death of his wife. I scoffed at this. I highly doubt that it is possible for a broken heart t kill someone.

I loved the little suburb in which the Potters lived. The gardens and houses were massive as this was where all the wealthy people lived. My parents' house was also huge but it had the frightening appearance that, before you had even entered, screamed 'haunted mansion'. The Potters' house was large in an expensive, classically elegant way. They lived in a muggle suburb and I didn't think there were any witches or wizards around. Very few of the houses had walls or fences surrounding them. It was a safe neighbourhood, the kind you think of when deciding where you want to grow your kids up.

I looked up from my feet, which were still kicking the stone along the road, to see a young girl propped up against a tree in the distance. I promptly abandoned the stone and began to walk as quietly as I could.

As I got nearer, I got a better look at the girl. She did not look that young from close up. Though her knees where pulled close to her chest as she leaned against the tree, I could tell that when she stood up she would be very short. She had dark chocolate brown curls falling just below her shoulders. She was wearing dark denim shorts, a black tank top and white slip on shoes. Her face was set in a blank, unreadable expression, too tense to be calm, and her eyes were shut. Even as I watched her, a tear, blackened from her subtle make-up, rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away impatiently with a small hand with dark purple nails. She did not open her eyes.

I could not explain the sudden, irrational rush of sadness that this girl's pain induced in me. Perhaps it was because she had the appearance of a helpless person. Whatever the reason, I yearned to take her sorrow away, to protect her. And that was not normal. Sirius Black did not feel compassion towards random strangers.

Just then, said random stranger opened her eyes. They were big and dark and staring at me. We both stared for what felt like hours but was probably only a few seconds. She blinked. I decided that I should speak.

"Hi." My voice sounded different. It conveyed my sympathy.

She blinked at me once again before answering. "Hi." Her voice was soft. I wondered whether this was how it was usually or whether it was quietened by her sadness.

Now what? Do I pretend that I did not just see her eye leak or do I ask her what's wrong? No, no, I can't do that. That's way too forward. Hold on! Since when did I think about what I was saying before speaking to girls? Emotional females could be dangerous though...

She was looking at me expectantly so I said the first thing that came into my mind.

"You look sad. Are you ok?"

Oh, no. That was definitely not the right thing to say. The uncertainty I was feeling must have shown on my face because she smiled at me in a mildly amused fashion before answering.

"Oh, yes thank you. Just having some family trouble." She tried to make her ton nonchalant but I could see that whatever it was was really bothering her.

"I know that I am a complete stranger but do you want to talk about it?" She would say yes. Of course she would say yes. That was just how girls react to me. _Yes._

"No, thank you."

She said no! I don't recall a girl ever saying no to me!

Trying my hardest not to look or sound as shocked as I felt, I responded. "Okay. Mind if I sit down?"

"I was just going inside. I'll see you around, maybe?" She was smiling at me. She had a nice smile.

"Okay, see you around." I gave her a classic Sirius Smile. "I'm Sirius by the way."

"Nice to meet you, Sirius," she replied, still smiling, before she turned around and started walking towards the front door of the large house.

"Hey!" I called. "You didn't tell me your name!"

"You didn't ask."

I sighed loudly. "What is your name?"

Laughing, she replied, "My name is Aurora."

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**A/N: Ok seriously? NO reviews??? Is it really that bad? **

**I am updating even though I am not sure if I should or not... I will not update if I don't get any reviews... Ok please, please, please, please, please review! Please? First reviewer gets... something... havn't decided yet.**

**Hope You hace enjoyed it so far:) I forgot to say in the last chap that it was Lily's POV but I'm sure you figured that out. **


	4. I Will Posses Your Heart

**Hiiiii:) Yay I got reviews!! I would like to thank SnarkySidekick and PottedLilies for your lovely kind words. This chap is dedicated to you:) Also thank you to everyone who added this story to their favourites and alerts. And thank you to everyone reading:) hahaha I hope you enjoy this chapter... I'm not too sure how I feel about it. **

**Much love***

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3. I Will Posses Your Heart

"How I wish you could see the potential,

Potential of you and me.

It's like a book elegantly bound,

But in a language that you can't read just yet."

-I Will Posses Your Heart, Death Cab for Cutie

_James_

I was eleven years old when I met Lily Evans. I shared a compartment with her on the way to Hogwarts in my first year. Or at least I did until she left with Snape. I never did understand what Lily saw in Snape (and I am sure that I never will) but, watching her quietly eat her dinner of chicken, mash and steamed vegetables, I have no doubt as to what Snape saw in Lily. Okay, perhaps not from the very first minute I met her. To the eleven year old me, Lily was nothing but a bossy (not to mention emotional) know-it-all.

It was at the beginning of my third year at Hogwarts when Lily was telling me off for jinxing Snape that I realized how amazing that little lady really was. I remember feeling the grin creep unwillingly onto my face as Lily, already a head shorter than me, ranted about me being an immature prat- her enchanting eyes flashing dangerously.

"And what are you smirking at like a dunce, Potter?" she had demanded; cheeks flushed from her raging lecture.

"Evans, do you want to go out with me?"

It became very clear almost immediately that this was not the right thing to have said. Lily had almost broken my nose that day.

I chuckled quietly at the memory and those same enchanting emerald eyes whisked up to look at me questioningly. A smile was playing across Lily's rose tinted lips as she asked, "What's so amusing Potter?"

I suppressed a sigh. She was back to calling me Potter.

"Do you remember that time in third year when you punched me for asking you out? And my nose bled for an hour straight..."

She flushed, a deep red creeping up from her neck to her forehead and clashing horribly with her hair yet somehow managing to intensify her beauty at the same time. "Right, er, I'm sorry about that, Potter," she muttered awkwardly.

I wanted to laugh at her unnecessary discomfort. "That's alright, Lils. So how has your holiday been so far?"

"Oh, you know... They've been alright," she told her glass of mango juice, still looking extremely uncomfortable. Then she added, nodding slightly, "Rather quiet." She looked up at me. "How have yours been?"

I hated seeing her like this. Even worse was that she was like this alone, unprotected. I realized that she was looking at me expectantly, waiting for a reply.

"They have been good thanks." I smiled at her. "Sirius moved in less than a week into the holidays. He ran away from home."

Her emerald eyes got very big and, before she could help herself, she gasped, "What? Why? What happened?"

The way Sirius felt about his family was no secret but Sirius Black was known to stick out difficult situations merely for the sake of proving that he could.

"Nothing, really. His cousin, Bellatrix Black, was staying with his family and I think the situation was just a bit much for him to handle. He had a fight with his parents and left. "

"Oh, poor Sirius" she murmured. "I hope he's okay." Lily's eyes were filled with sympathy for my best friend who she did not even like and, not for the first time, I was awestruck by the simple goodness of this girl.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. It was a good silence. A comfortable silence. I could see us having a relationship that was just as easy. I could see it clearly; so close it was almost tangible. I looked at her hoping, _wishing_, that she would see it soon.

She looked up to find me watching her. I didn't look away and, to my surprise, neither did she.

"Would you like some dessert? She asked, getting up and holding out her hand to take my plate. Instead I got up as well and took her plate from her hands.

"Sure, what dessert are we having?" I walked into the kitchen with her trailing behind me.

"I don't know," she admitted. "I could make custard? And you don't have to wash my dishes, Potter"

She blushed deeply for the second time today as I rolled up my sleeves.

"They are _our_ dishes," I told her, smiling. "And I'm not washing them." I took out my wand and muttered, "_Scourgify." __And I promise to do _our_ dishes every night when we are married,_ I added silently as I stacked the now clean dishes on the counter.

She smiled, unaware of the direction of my thoughts, and got out a yellow tin from one of the cupboards and milk from a big white object that closely resembled a cupboard. She scooped some of the contents of the tin into a mixing bowl and added milk while she stirred. I moved closer to her and picked up the tin. The big, navy blue writing on the tin read 'INSTANT CUSTARD' and smaller, along the bottom of the tin 'JUST ADD MILK'.

I shook my head in amazement. Lily laughed, "What, Potter?"

"This is amazing! Muggles are so clever!"

She carried on laughing as she stirred the instant custard.

"No seriously! Why haven't wizards thought of this? Ingenious..."

"It is convenient, isn't it?" she was still looking at me, apparently very amused with my lack of knowledge of the Muggle world. "Here you can take the tin home with you."

"Oh no, I couldn't. You will probably need it sometime throughout the holidays. "

"Really, it's fine. I can just walk over to the shops if I need some. "

I felt my body stiffen at this. I didn't like Lily walking to the shops by herself. I didn't like Lily walking anywhere by herself. In fact, I didn't like Lily staying in this damned house by herself.

I set the tin down. "Lily, will you please come and stay at my house for the holidays? Sirius is there and Remus and Peter drop in to visit all the time. It would be f-"

She sighed, setting down the bowl of custard on the counter next to the stack of dishes and interrupted my attempt at persuading her, "No, Potter, I won't."

I didn't expect her to agree. Pushing my luck, I dropped all pretences and exclaimed, "Lily, this is dangerous! You can't stay here by yourself!"

"Yes I can, Potter. This is my home!"

I could see the sadness in her eyes and my heart swelled. I decided to try a different approach. "Okay, can Sirius and I come and stay with you, then?"

Anger flashed through Lily's eyes, darkening them. "No." No excuses, no defence. Just one word which rang with finality. "I think maybe you should go now, Potter."

"I'm sorry," I murmured, looking into her eyes with a sinking feeling.

"I think you should go," she repeated. She looked out of the kitchen window.

"Okay." I touched her arm and she moved away. My fingers curled in to a fist."Lily, if you need anything please let me know."

She nodded.

"Thanks for dinner."

She nodded again. I had the feeling that she was trying to hold herself together until I left. I felt horrible for upsetting her. "Sorry." I mumbled again before walking out of the kitchen and down the hallway. I stopped at the front door when I caught sight of a pen and a pad of flowery paper on the side table. Quickly, I scribbled a note and set it down on the floor in front of the door. I stood there for a few minutes before sighing and walking out the door.

I apparated to the end of my street and started walking- alone in the darkness except for my thoughts.

Urrrrrggggh! _James Potter you are stupid, stupid, stupid! _I told myself bitterly. I was right there! She was talking to me, hell, she even made me dinner! Only I could screw that up and now-

"James!" Sirius' voice interrupted my viscous thoughts. "Finally! Your mum has been freaking out and who does she have to bug about it? Oh yeah, that would be me... Why do you look as though the world has come to an end?

I followed Sirius through the door and into my parents' house.

I shook my head in response to his question. He stopped at the staircase and turned to look at me.

"Prongs," he said, his voice quiet in concern. "What happened?"

We had dinner and it was going so well but then I started freaking out because she was alone and..." I trailed off looking miserably at my best friend.

"Did you ask her-"

"She said no"

"Did you tell-"

"She said no. That's what made her angry, I think. She asked me to leave."

"I'm sorry, mate. What do you want to do?"

"My reply was cut off by my mother marching into the hallway and screaming, "James Marks Potter!"

I rolled my eyes and sighed. Honestly! I had more important things to worry about than explaining to my mother where I had been since two this afternoon.

"Talk about this later," Sirius mumbled before scampering up the stairs.

My mother was staring daggers at me and yelling out her lecture "... and I cannot believe you young man! Now of all times! My nerves are on end!"

It was quite funny actually. She was over a foot shorter then I was. "Sorry, Mum. It won't happen again," I mumbled and when she started to speak again I picked her up and set her down out of the doorway into the kitchen. I kissed her cheek.

"Mum, do we have any custard?"

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	5. The Beginning

**Hi guys :) I'm so so so so so sorry this took so long! Really I'm sorry. I had a serious case of writer's block... I'm really going to try and update regularly. I'm not too sure about this chapter so let me know what you think! Also It's a bit short and I'm sorry for that but I just felt that it ended there...**

**Thank you so much to every one who reviewed and added this story to your alerts and favourites! I really appreciate it:) Thanks**

**xxx**

**MyTinyDancer**

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4. The Beginning

"If you can't get someone out of your head, maybe it's because they're supposed to be there."

- (Facebook)

_Sirius_

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"That! Sitting around and thinking about that girl. It's simple, either ask her out or forget about her." James was standing in the doorway and staring at me with earnest eyes.

"You disgusting hypocrite, Potter! " I mumbled irritably then added, "I disown you!"

"Well then get the hell out of my house!" James crossed his arms, glaring daggers at me.

"No," I said, getting up off my camping bed on the floor of James' room. "Your parents love me more."

James pounced on me and we both crashed to the floor. We rolled around for a few minutes throwing punches at each other before James smacked me in the head and declared that he had won. He sat on my bed and I sat down next to him.

"'Kay seriously mate, what are we going to do?"

I smiled at that. What are _we_ going to do?

"Well, er, what do you think?"

I watched as a huge, mocking smile spread across James's face.

"The great Sirius Black is asking me for advice on girls?" he asked, his voice coloured with mock surprise.

"Oh, ha ha."

James laughed. "Okay, sorry. Seriously though, what are you even worried about? You should go and talk to her."

I smiled. You could always count on James to build my already-too-big self esteem.

"Yeah. Yeah I think I will. Thanks, Prongs."

He replied by giving my shoulder a light punch.

It had been just over a week since I had met Aurora and I had not seen her since that day outside her house but, as James had pointed out, I had been thinking about her constantly. There was something about this girl that had me hooked the minute I laid eyes on her. She was different to any girl I had ever met. It was not that she wasn't beautiful but rather that she did not think herself beautiful. This idea was ludicrous to me; she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. The way she reacted to me had pulled the rug right out from under my feet...

So I made my way down the road, scared to death- for the first time in my life- at the thought of asking out the girl I liked.

I was standing outside her house; just standing there staring at the front door. It seemed so big. I had no idea what to do. Did I knock on the door and ask for her? What were the chances of her answering? What if her father answered? I had decided to turn around and go back to brooding at the Potter's when the door opened and, like a deer in the headlights, I froze.

A tall man stepped out and eyed me suspiciously.

"Uh... Hi sir?" My greeting came out as a question and I sounded guilty.

The man blinked at me. Looking closer, I realized that he was definitely not old enough to be Aurora's father. He looked no more than a year or two older than me.

"Is Aurora home?"

At that the man cracked a smile but still he did not respond to me. Instead, he walked back into the house and called,"Rory!"

A few minutes later, Aurora emerged from the house. "What's wrong, Rick?" then, catching sight of me, she added with a start of surprise, "Oh, hi Sirius."

"This young man was looking for you. See you later."

Rick started walking down the street and Aurora's eyes followed him, almost resentfully.

"Hey," I said, deciding to break the ice. "You remembered my name."

Aurora smiled. "I was very interested in the stars a few years ago. Sirius is the dog star, if I'm not mistaken."

"That's right." I smiled back at her. This girl was more than just a pretty face. "My middle name is Orion. Like Orion's belt."

She laughed. "Your parents are really into astrology?" she asked, still smiling.

_She smiles a lot, _I thought to myself. "Not really," I replied bitterly. "My parents are really into the idea that our familyis pure and good; like the stars."

She looked at me curiously but did not comment. "My mother loves ballets. My name comes from 'Sleeping Beauty' and my middle name, Odette, comes from 'Swan Lake'."

"It suits you."

"So, not that I don't love the company, but why are you here Sirius?"

_Oh right,_ I remembered. _I came here for a reason._

"I was wondering if you would go out with me some time." I blurted out before I could rearrange the words into a decent request.

Conflict danced in her dark eyes and she replied cautiously, "Some time...?"

"Some time next week?"

"Uhm... Look, Sirius, I don't think I'm your-"

In a panic, I interrupted her. "It's my birthday next week Sunday. You have to go out with me! Please?"

She giggled. "Ok fine but on Saturday. Sunday is family day."

"I'll take it," I told her happily. And, sensing it was time to go, I added, "I'll see you on Saturday at six, Aurora."

"Rory," she gave me one last smile. "Bye Sirius."

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**Please, please, please review! I love hearing what you think! **

**Oh and I also wrote a little one shot about Lily and James. It's called 'Loving You'. Please check it out:)**

**Much love***


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